


Hold Me Tight

by ofmoonlightandstardust



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance, reader - Freeform, y/n, you - Freeform, your name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 09:57:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16951860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofmoonlightandstardust/pseuds/ofmoonlightandstardust
Summary: Summary: (Anonymous request) Kylo Ren finds out through the force that his mother Leia has died. Even though he is part of the First Order, he is deeply traumatized and lashes out. You, his girlfriend, rush in to comfort him in his grief.





	Hold Me Tight

**Author's Note:**

> This does not take place on a spaceship, you will see;)

Leia Organa was dead. The cup of coffee you just made for your boyfriend Kylo Ren slipped out of your hands and fell to the ground. A hollow outcry in the silence of the mess Kylo must have left behind after storming off. You must have missed him for only a few seconds. You had felt a little pull just this second from the force – but Kylo… You couldn’t even imagine what he must have felt through at the moment his mother died. The nonmoving body next to the wall clearly indicated the effect. You stood quietly in the doorframe and examined the mess around you. Not a single outrage of his temper had happened in months, until now. A single hot tear slowly escaped your eyes as you saw the destroyed tech, still fuming from the burn of the laser sword. You furiously rubbed the tear out of your eye.

‘Where did he go?’, you demanded from the officer, still frozen in shock next to you. He was still staring at the destroyed mess Kylo seemed to have left in terror. You snapped with your fingers in front of his face and he slowly blinked at you in turmoil. 'Tell me. Where did he go?’ He didn’t recover from his shock immediately. You softened your expression. 'Honestly Sir, I got this. Do you know where Kylo went?’, you said. It took immense control to suppress your voice from shivering.

He blinked again, twice and slowly answered, eyes still in shock. 'I-i don’t know. He just went crazy and vanished.’ The man began to clatter with his teeth, finally coming to the realization of what just happened. Oh, this was really bad. You began to leave the room with fast paces and began to run as fast you could when the headquarters were out of sight. Maybe he was in your quarters, at least that was what you hoped for.

At first, you felt it through the force. The endless rage Kylo had suppressed so long had risen again curled together into a storm of never ending grief, despair and the dark clawing anxiety he still failed to defeat until this day. You pushed open the front door of your quarters, heart beating loudly and stopped in front of the bedroom door left ajar. Only then you heard the quiet broken sobs coming from the inside.

You wanted to push the door open but let your hand sink, hesitating. Was it better to let him grief on his own? Reluctantly, you gave the door a little push and pulled yourself together, rubbing away the tears you did not recognize were drying on your face. You still remember Leia the last time you saw her – when you promised her to get her son back. The hopefulness of a leader, a savior who lost only once in her lifetime – with her own son. You forced back a sob, your hand covering yours. You took a few slow steps forward, shoes loud on the parquet floor. Kylo kneeled in front of the window, in the middle of our bedroom.

The room was in total chaos. The nightstand shoved away, the vase shattered, sunflowers crushed on the floor and cracks extending from circle from the window above his head over the whole window front. The wind rushed in through the gaps, making the dark curtains dance in the wind like the ghost of the dead, like a broken promise.

You shivered, your hands cold from the wind, hair blowing through your hair mercilessly. You took a few steps closer to him and sank down next to him staring out of the broken window, showing only the dark sky. Even the moon did not show today.

Kylo stopped sobbing, his hitched breathing the only sound besides the wind singing the song of the dead. You faced him, his shoulders sunken in, his hands covering his beautiful face.

'Y/N…’.

He wispered your name like a promise. 'I am sorry…I just…’. He tried to suppress the sob rising up inside of him. Your cheeks turned wet again in an instant. You verged closer to Kylo and carefully closed your fingers around his hands still on his face. You gently held his hands in your palms. You looked up. Two dark empty eyes helplessly staring at the ground, his face red and puffy from all the crying.

'It’s alright’, you said. He looked up, your gaze locking with his. You tried to appear reassuring. He searched your face and frowned. 'Why are you crying, Love?’, he asked with concern. Kylo extended his hand, gently stroking away the salty tear rolling down your cheek.

'No, I just…’ You took his hand and tucked him closer, your other hand grabbing his shirt to finally pull him into a hug. He put his arms around you, strong hands grabbing your waist, holding you tightly. Kylo buried his face into your neck, exhaling your perfume. You. He held you close and began to cry again. So did you. 

The silence stretched between you. It could have been mere seconds, minutes or even hours. Time stood still as the tears finally dried up and the wind resumed its song of the mourning. He finally loosened his hug and held you one sleeves’ length away from him. You gently softened his tousled hair.

'You hurt yourself, love’, you exclaimed and lightly stroked over the cut on his forehead. His eyes scanned your face and you saw the deeply rooted grief, no you felt it in your bones.

'Tomorrow would have been her birthday, Y/N. I am a failure, I am an orphan and…’, he started, his voice rising. You interrupted him quickly. 'Listen, listen..’ 'No, Y/N. I can’t…’, he objected. 'Listen to me Kylo!’ He turned his head away from you, hiding the pain in his eyes. You grabbed his face between your palms and softly turned his head to face him. You caged him with your gaze.

'No’, you said. 'You’re not. None of that. I remember Leia from the past, she is so strong. She is so brave and she loved you…her son.’ His head sank in shame. 'And you are all that as well and most importantly you are her son. We are gonna get through this…together’, you said and kissed his forehead lightly.

'I love you Y/N’, Kylo whispered and held you tight until his heart hurt a little less much.


End file.
